want to send a letter to your pets?
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish,
nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, since I fall
faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am truly sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is
not necessary to sleep perpendicularly to each other, stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
entered. I have been using the bathroom for years — canine or feline
attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me and THEN go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I
cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s
why they call it "fur"niture .)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
short, hairy, walks on all fours, and does not speak clearly.
Remember: Why dogs and cats are better than kids because: they eat less,
don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when
called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t
smoke or drink, don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don’t
wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they
get pregnant, you can sell their children.
I did not write this! I appreciate your comments, but I didn’t write this. It was forwarded to me, after being forwarded numerous times before me…I have no idea who wrote it.
impressive. nice work.
impressive. nice work.
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I love it!! Well Done!!
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so funny so true
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that must have taken a while … good job
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That’s great. Can you teach my cat to read?
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I really liked it and am sending it to my daughter who lives on a farm.
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HaHa! That is great! I truly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!
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Dear Rodney (My second Cat) And Pooty (My Very old cat,
Please exuse me for kicking you, but you took a ranchie crap on the pack porch. I know the littler box needs cleaned, so stop nagging, scratching, meowing, and clawing me. There is absoluetly no point in standing at the door when you want out beacause you know that I’m never going to let you out unless I get out of bed. I love you, and IDC if you wanna bond and sit on the desk while I’m on the computer, but could you please stop chasing the curser (Rodney)
And get your butt out of the way of the screen (Pooty). Please remember that if you want food, stop bothering me when I’m eating because your food is simply 18 feet away. You water is dirty, so stop spitting your food in it! I love to cuddle with you guys, but please stop jabbing your claws into my legs. WhenI say ‘Bad Boy’ or ‘Bad Girl!’ I don’t mean I’m over it ten seconds after I say it so you have no right to love on me when you hate me when I love you. Pooty, be the first cat to shave, Rodney, we all know you have a beutiful meow, but sometimes it gets a WEE but annoying! When I’m reading "Flowers In The Attic", I want to read Flowers In The Attic, not "Pooty’s fur in my eyes." That mouse is fake. We’re not thinking about you all the time. Get over it. Screw your claws, you’ll never use them.
Your ‘Loving’ Owner,
Kaite Whitehall.
Lot’s of ♥s
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lol
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lol. thanks for sharing =)
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Nice K here is mine
Dear Dozer(Dog) and Ziggy (Cat)
First of all Dozer stop whining like a baby when you want out because I can’t and Ziggy stop meowing when there is a little white spot of your food bowl I know you think it is empty but I hate getting up and just pushing a little bit of food over!Also DOZER STOP CRAPING UPSTAIRS EVERYDAY! I know Dozer gets all the meat that we throw to you two and I think Ziggy needs to have some all though you are a little fat (Sorry Ziggy) Oh Dozer stop whining to go out side then you try to bite me! You two know I love you two!
You Loving Owner,
Bailey
(P.S. I gave it to my dog and he ripped it LMAO!
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